i've cried a river

haha sarah, i beat you to being a big girl i've had my own account and debit card for almost a year now, lol xoxo.

So my granma is doing good, she had stints put in her arteries to help the blood flow, basically her only problem is that she is super obese, and if she would just loose like 50lbs things would be soo much better, but i don't think she really cares, shes at seal rock, where maggles works for a little while, while she recovers.

So lets talk life (in the words of sarah)
i broke up with corey today, for many reasons, and something that will come as no shock to you guys, we got back together, but it wasn't one of those break ups where you break up and the 5 seconds later your dating again, it was one of those, where you talk for like 3+ hours, and finally figure out what you want, at least for now. I think our biggest problem is that we want to be together like forever, or what ever, but he especially is worried that when he is like 30 or whatever that he's going to feel like he never experienced life or what not, and he doesn't want that, but at the same time we are both scared that if we take a break, or decide to see other people for a while that we'll lose each other, for good, because of the possibility that one or both of us couldn't get past what may have happened during out "break". Life's complicated and we all know that this relationship definitely is, but we also know that i love this boy with everything that i have.
to be honest guys, i'm so scared of next year, i'm scared that i'm going to get hurt, that corey might meet someone else, or hey i'm even scared that i might meet someone else and really hurt corey, and i never want to hurt him...:( gah im like still crying, why am i suck an emo train wreck, lol :D. Life is soo complicated, but at the same time it's so simple, maybe its the fact that life is soo simple that makes it complicated, like door that your supposed to pull, but you push them anyways????

So anywho, onto a much happier subject, amy and i had orientation last weekend and we had a blast, amy got stalked by none other than the infamous "i-love-you-boy" Curtis Moultan... greesh he is soo sketchy, it wasn't even like he was following us around and like participating in our "activities" he would just stand there and not say anything, he was just a creeper....poor ames as if she doesn't have enough to deal with. hahaa

So shea i hope you had an amazing time outside of America, and in the Bahamas, i know it's soo nice there and hey you probably got to miss a huge amount of rain that came a'tumblin down in good ol maine. they say if u wait 5 minutes the weather will change, well this si the longest 5 min ever. lol

so i love y'all
XOXOXOXOXO
J