my college essay

oh and shea i was thinking, since i said ur essay should be personal im posting mine to kinda give u an idea, plus i did want to share it with all of you, mmk
xoxxo
here it is....




“You can either run from it, or learn from it…Oh yes the past can hurt.” ~Rafiki
My biological mother led a turbulent life of partying and all that goes with it. In the eight years I lived with her she was in and out of rehab four times.
When my mother “went out” she left us with a baby sitter. It was the same person for a while, until my mom said that she and that person were not longer on friendly terms. Her friendships with people didn’t last more than a few months, some a couple of years; but, mostly they lost touch or things ended for one reason or another. The men also came and went in a similar fashion. I didn’t think much of it then, because, well I was little. Thinking back as a teenager I realize that scares me.
Her relationships with people in and outside of her family were affected by her psychological problems. Among them; Bi-polar, ADD, ADHD, addictive personality, addiction to substances. I am so afraid of being like her, in her faults. I will never touch drugs, because I’ve seen first hand how they can ruin your life.
I know that I have an addictive personality myself, but I get addicted to things like horses, reading, writing, hanging out with friends, learning new things, etc. I’ve turned her biggest fault into my biggest strength. I am also very paranoid about losing the people that are closest to me, because I do not want to be someone that has different people in her life, year in and year out. I don’t want to have a new best friend or boyfriend every few months. I’ve become goal oriented, I want to be a successful, happy person. Someone who actually wants to go to her job everyday. I have a passion for living and learning that I know my mom never had. I plan to live life to it’s fullest and remember it.
I tend to put up a wall with 98% of people I meet. I do not get overly emotional about most things, because during my child hood I was taught that to cry is a weakness. I am not weak. I have become more mentally tough in dealing with things because of this. At the same time I have a hard time expressing my feelings to other people, because I do not want to be vulnerable.
Your past affects you everyday. We all have regrets, things we can not change. It’s not really the past that makes you who you are; it’s the way you handle the past and mold your present. My mother’s mistakes are not my own. I am my own person with my own mistakes to make. I will take those weaknesses and make them my strengths.
My past will not define who I am. “You can either run from it, or learn from it.” I, am learning.


XOXOXO
J